I have learned a great deal by reading people's politcal arguments on the internet. For example, I know that Barack Obama is a Muslim and a terrorist because his middle name is Hussein. My middle name is Edward. Apparently, some day I will become King of England, but I will abdicate my throne so I can marry a divorced American woman.

Kudos to the Swiss government for protecting movie icon Roman Polanski from extradition. Thank goodness the Swiss folks realize that it's OK to be a child rapist as long as you make good movies.

I find myself really hoping these days for Mel Gibson to release a new movie soon, so we can all not go see it.

I know they swapped the 10 Russian spies for 4 Americans in Vienna already, but is it too late to see if they'll trade us anything for Lindsey Lohan?

I have forgotten the custom for when LeBron finally chooses a team - Will we see white smoke or black smoke? And does he get one of those big hats right away, or will he have to wait until they put a swoosh on it?

I was born on the 4th of July. I have often been asked if I am a Yankee Doodle Dandy. As a thinking man, I have to think about it, and break it down to its elements: I have issues with Dandy. I suppose I can live with Doodle. Yankee is off the table.

Funny how times change. When I was growing up, a discovery of 10 Russian spies in our midst would have triggered a national emergency, mobilization of our armed forces, scrambling of bombers and fighters, ICBMs in the bullpen ready to fly, and going to DEFCON 2 at NORAD. Today, our response is "Wow, that spy is hot!"