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Saturday, March 26, 2011
Trouble in the MediterraneanPentagon spokesman
Geoff Morrell continued to defend the choice of the name for the military operation in Libya. "Granted, ‘Odysseus’
means ‘trouble’ in Greek,” Morrell began. “But the Odyssey is an inspiring story
of how Odysseus dealt with many treacherous obstacles after the gods blew him off course, he lost his entire crew, and he
wandered around lost in the Mediterranean for 10 years. Oh, shit.”
Friday, March 25, 2011
Odyssey DawnThe Pentagon today defended its choice of name for the current military operation in Libya. "It could have been
worse," Pentagon spokesman Geoff Morrell told a press conference. "It took us three hours to talk POTUS out of "Operation
Tony Orlando and Dawn,' 'Operation Cracker Dawn,' and 'Operation Lesgedda Dawn.'"
9:04 pm est
Monday, March 14, 2011
Time ChangeThe clock on my phone refuses to move forward. Maybe it thinks it's in Kansas.
7:40 am est
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Too Many MenWarner Bros. issued a statement today that the decision to fire Charlie Sheen was primarily due to a revolt by the
writing staff: "The writers tried very hard to accommodate Charlie's personality disorder and write it in, and we
were even going to change the name of the show accordingly. But by the time we got to 'Nine and a Half Men,' it was
just too much for them."
7:53 am est
Monday, March 7, 2011
Warlock OutrageA group of warlocks in Salem, Massachusetts has issued a strong statement objecting to Charlie Sheen's references
to "Vatican ninja warlocks" in his entourage. "We are peaceful people who just like to spend our time casting
spells, turning our enemies into newts, and communicating with the dead,” said a spokesman. “The last thing we
want is to be associated with crazy stuff like Charlie Sheening.”
1:27 pm est
Thursday, March 3, 2011
News FlashIn a new book, Pope Benedict XVI has made a sweeping exoneration of the Jewish people for the death of Jesus Christ.
"And that's not the half of it," the Pope reveals. "As it turns out, that crazy Italian, Gallileo, was
right. The EARTH actually revolves around the SUN. No, really! Whodathunkit?"
1:51 pm est
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
NostalgiaDoes anyone remember a guy named Charlie who had delusions and thought he was a god and acted really crazy, yet he
had a bunch of women around him who adored him and were mesmerized by him? Just asking.
8:16 pm est
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
OscarsDear Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences: I just love Anne Hathaway, and I like James Franco well enough.
When they are not hosting the Oscars.
7:06 am est
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