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Wednesday, July 27, 2011
BrinmanshipIt's
been scary to see two stubborn sides staring each other down, taking our country to the brink of an apocalyptic disaster such
as we have never seen - one from which we might never recover. Thankfully, cooler heads prevailed and a deal was reached.
There will be football this year. Apparently, there is also a problem in Washington with a ceiling fan or something. I hope
those guys work that thing out.
12:22 am est
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Too Much CompetitionAl-Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahiri surprisingly announced today that the organization is disbanding. "It
has always been our goal to be the most despicable, loathesome, contemptible group of low-life slime balls on the planet,
and for a long time, we were right there," explained al-Zawahiri. "But now that News of the World has set the bar
so high, there's no way we can compete. My turban is off to you, Mr. Murdoch."
9:03 am est
Monday, July 11, 2011
Making CallsUnited Nations Secretary General Ban-Ki Moon recently placed a call to Kim Jung-Il, informing the dictator
that North Korea is this month assuming the presidency of the UN Conference on Disarmament. Immediately afterward, Moon called
a local Wal-Mart and asked if they had Prince Albert in a can.
7:24 pm est
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