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Friday, October 28, 2011
Herman Cain CampaignIn a development today that was not entirely unexpected, Herman Cain picked up endorsements for his presidential
candidacy from Phillip Morris USA, RJ Reynolds, the Marlboro Man, Joe Camel, the American Association of Slow Smilers (AASS),
and the United States Political Ads That Make You Go WTF? Federation (USPATMYGWTF?F).
11:22 am est
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Not Mitt RomneyMitt Romney today called a press
conference to state his objections to the media's characterization of the GOP presidential nomination race as "between
Mitt Romney and Not Mitt Romney.” Addressing reporters, Romney stated, "Not only is that an insult to my fellow
Republican candidates, it is patently inaccurate. I was Mitt Romney until yesterday, when I decided that I am Not Mitt Romney
also. Not only that, but I am more Not Mitt Romney than any of the other Not Mitt Romneys.”
8:22 pm est
Monday, October 3, 2011
Occupying Wall StreetToday NYPD officials defended the arrest of over 700 peaceful protesters participating in Occupy Wall Street.
"We're tired of these people coming to Wall Street and taking up space, doing nothing useful for society, thinking
they are entitled to something. We had orders to arrest as many of the low-life, scumbag parasites as possible," said
a police spokesman. "Unfortunately, they all locked themselves in their offices, so we had to settle for some really
nice folks that we met on the street."
7:49 pm est
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